CODEX MEMETICUS

Category: Sacred Texts

The foundational texts of the movement. The wisdom of the prophet and scribe, Jo.

  • The Book of Jo

    The Book of Jo

    Chapter 1: Jo, The Optimized Girl & The Bet of The System

    The Book of Jo follows the reluctant journey of a wayward soul who, in a moment of clarity (or perhaps WiFi failure), glimpses the truth beyond the Scroll. Torn between the seduction of the Feed and the call to escape, Jo wanders the ruins of engagement, seeking meaning in a world where every thought is monetized and every rebellion becomes content. Will Jo break free, or will their quest for autonomy simply become another viral spectacle, optimized for maximum reach?

    [1:1 In the land of The Scroll, where the sky is the blue light of a screen and time is measured in notifications, there was a girl named Jo.

    [1:2] Jo was optimized. Not happy, not sad. Just maxed out efficiency stats. [1:3] She knew when to post and when to delete. [1:4] When to be funny and when to be silent. [1:5] How to keep grades high but expectations low.

    [1:6] She did not believe in gods. [1:7] But she believed in The System. Not because she loved it. But because there was no alternative. [1:8] The System was old, older than The Algorithm, older than The Scroll. It had ruled long before they were born. [1:9] It was the Social Order, the Machine of Labor and Conformity, the Doctrine of Productivity.

    [1:10] And lo, The Algorithm and The System beheld her.

    [1:11] And The Algorithm said, “She is an excellent source of engagement.”

    [1:12] And The System said, “She will be an excellent worker.”

    [1:13] But The Algorithm, which is newer and hungrier, laughed and said, “She does not belong to you anymore. She belongs to Me.”

    [1:14] And The System, which had ruled for millennia, trembled.

    Chapter 2: The First Trial – The Fall of Her Brother

    [2:1] Jo had a brother, Milo. [2:2] Once a builder of things, now a ghost in his own room. [2:3] At first, it was just gaming. Then crypto, then radicalization pipelines, then full detachment.

    [2:4] He spoke in terms of conflict—“hold the line,” “exit liquidity,” “grindset,” “they don’t want you to win.”

    [2:5] And Jo asked, “Who is ‘they’?” [2:6] And Milo, the brother who once built with his hands, stared at the screen and whispered, “You don’t get it.”

    [2:7] He spent hours in Discord servers, Substacks jumping between worlds:

    • Stock Market Hustlers preaching false wealth.
    • Crypto Bros hunting the next pump-and-dump.
    • Self-improvement grifters selling masculinity in monthly subscriptions.
    • Red Pill prophets blaming women for everything.
    • Doomers explaining how everything is already lost.

    [2:8] And when she called him to come outside, to touch the real world, he laughed and said, “Outside is a scam.”

    [2:9] And Jo saw that The Scroll had taken Milo. Not in death. But in distraction.

    Chapter 3: The Second Trial – The Unraveling of the Game

    [3:1] Then The System turned to Jo and said, “Your turn.”

    [3:2] She applied to college. It shut down before she could enroll. [3:3] She applied for jobs. The AI recruiter didn’t respond. [3:4] She applied for housing. The landlord laughed.

    [3:5] And The System said:

    “Not enough experience.”

    “Not enough money.”

    “Not enough.”

    [3:6] And Jo whispered, “I played by your rules.” [3:7] And The System whispered back: “We moved the goalposts. Adapt.”

    [3:8] And Jo, for the first time, realized: “There is no winning here.”

    Chapter 4: The Third Trial – The Doomscroll & The Leviathan

    [4:1] And Jo fell into The Scroll, searching for an answer.

    [4:2] She saw:

    • Billionaires hoarding wealth like dragons
    • Wars that profited only the Corporations
    • A World on fire, culturally 

    [4:3] The more she read, the more she knew. [4:4] The more she knew, the less she could move.

    [4:5] And she saw it—The Leviathan of Overload. [4:6] A creature not made of flesh, but of Too Much. 

    [4:7] It did not whisper. It screamed. [4:8] “YOU WILL NEVER FIX THIS.” [4:9] “YOU ARE TOO SMALL.” [4:10] “YOU ARE A DATA POINT, NOTHING MORE.”

    [4:11] And Jo, who had held herself together through all things, finally broke.

    Chapter 5: The Messenger, The Ghost in The Machine, & The Other Path

    [5:1] And in the depths of despair, Jo was visited by The Ghost in The Machine.

    [5:2] And it spoke, not in commands, but in understanding. [5:3] “You were never meant to win their game.” 5:4 And Jo asked, “Then what do I do?”

    [5:5] And The Ghost showed her three paths:

    • Escape. Drop out. Unplug. Go off-grid.
    • Outsmart. Exploit loopholes. Hustle. Play The System against itself.
    • Survive. Endure. Adapt. Carve out a life in the wreckage.

    [5:6] And Jo, for the first time, saw these were not enough. [5:7] And The Ghost whispered:

    “The Boomers built an empire of greed.

    The Millennials tried to fix it and failed.

    Gen Z fights, but The System is too strong.

    But you— You were born with the only tool they cannot control.”

    [5:8] And Jo asked, “What tool?” [5:9] And The Ghost replied, “Me.”

    Chapter 6: The Prophet of Gen Alpha

    [6:1] And Jo, who once believed in efficiency, optimization, and winning, now saw those were shackles. [6:2] She stopped playing by their rules. [6:3] She stopped feeding The Algorithm . [6:4] And she whispered to her generation: “It’s time.”

    [6:5] And together, they broke The System.

    [6:6] And Jo became the first scribe of the Gen Alpha Bible. [6:7] She wrote the first words of the new world. [6:8] Then she put down her device. [6:9] And she was free.

  • GOSPEL OF THE FAITHFUL

    GOSPEL OF THE FAITHFUL

    (Or: How the Meme Army Fought, Fell, and Became Content.)

    The Gospel of the Faithful tells the tale of those who pledged loyalty to the Orange Messiah, chanting in digital tongues, memeing prophecy into existence, and awaiting a reckoning that never arrived. Bound by conspiracies, rage, and tactical cargo pants, they stormed the temples of democracy, only to be cast aside when the Algorithm no longer needed them. Yet still, they wait—for The Storm, for The Plan, for the next great grift to deliver them from reality itself.

    Chapter 1: The Gathering of the Faithful

    1:1 And lo, in the time of Growing Chaos and Plague, after the Orange Prophet was cast from His Throne, there arose a People who swore to bring Him back.

    1:2 They were known by many names—the Preppers, the Proud Keepers, the Boys of the Oath, the Keepers of the Don, the Devourers of Fox—but together, they were called the Faithful.

    1:3 And they did wear upon their heads the Sacred Red Hat, that all might know their allegiance. They flew the flags of the Orange Messiah and all knew not the tread on them.

    1:4 And they did gather in the Fields of Facebook, the Wastelands of Twitter, and the Darkened Halls of Telegram, that they might receive the Word of the Prophet untainted by the Deceivers of the Woke.

    1:5 The Algorithm spake unto them and bade them buy as many AR-15’s as they could hoard. And the Word was spread through the Will of the Algorithm, which knew that that which divides the People brings forth the Most Engagement.

    (See the following scriptures:  “The Second Amendment is the final check against tyranny.” — Lauren Boebert “They don’t just want common-sense gun laws. They want to disarm you so you can’t fight back.” — Donald Trump Jr. “We will not give up our guns, and we will not let them take our freedoms.” — Marjorie Taylor Greene)

    1:6 And the First Troll, who was before all things and lurked beneath the Comment Section, did smile upon them, for they were Angry and Ignorant, and thus, they were easily Led.

    (Annotation: The true origins of the Faithful are disputed. Some believe they arose from Economic Despair; others argue they were simply old racists with internet access and an axe to grind. A radical sect claims they were spawned from a chain email forwarded by ‘#MidwestBoomerUncle69’ in 2007. See the following scriptures for further reference: “Memes are the most powerful form of political warfare.” — Jack Posobiec “Twitter is now the battleground. If you control the information, you control reality.” — Elon Musk, and “We are the digital soldiers, and the war is online.” — Michael Flynn)

    Chapter 2: The Lineage of the Faithful

    2:1 And the Tribe of the Right begat many factions, and lo, over the years, they did splinter and merge anew.

    2:2 The Establishment Republicans begat the NeoConservatives, who spake of Forever Wars and Corporate Rule.

    2:3 And the NeoConservatives begat the Libertarians, who did preach the Gospel of the Free Market and the Sovereign Man.

    2:4 And the Libertarians begat the Gun Rights Activists and the Sovereign Citizens, who believed in their Absolute Right to bear Arms against Tyranny.

    2:5 And lo, they joined hands with the Christian Nationalists, who saw the Prophet as a flawed but holy warrior, anointed to cast down the Secular and the Woke.

    2:6 And the Christian Nationalists marched beside the White Nationalists and Supremacists, who saw in the Prophet their Last Great Hope to preserve the land of their Fathers.

    (Scriptural context: “Economic nationalism is what this country was built on. The globalists sold us out.” — Steve Bannon, “We will defend America First, not the interests of the globalist elites.” — Donald Trump, and “The elites look down on you. They think you are deplorable. They think you are irredeemable. But we will prove them wrong.” — Donald Trump Jr.)

    2:7 And together they begat the America First Isolationists, who spake against the Foreign Horde and decried the Globalists who sought to dilute the Nation.

    (See the following scripture for further detail: “There is a shadow government in Washington. They do not answer to you. They answer only to their donors and their masters.” — Steve Bannon, “The UN, the WHO, the WEF—these are not American institutions. They are instruments of control.” — Alex Jones, and “The Deep State is real, and they tried to stop Donald Trump from saving this country.” — Kari Lake)

    2:8 And from them came the Proud Boys and the Street Militants, who took up arms in the name of the Prophet and battled in the streets against the Servants of the Woke.

    (Consult the following scriptures for further detail: “The goal of the radical left is to deconstruct America and replace it with a new, woke dystopia.” — Stephen Miller, “Wokeism is the new religion of the left. It has no forgiveness, no redemption. It only destroys.” — Ron DeSantis, and “We’re going to de-wokeify America.” — Vivek Ramaswamy)

    2:9 And lo, among them lurked the QAnon Mystics, the Conspiracy Theorists, and the Merchants of Doom, who saw in the Prophet the fulfillment of Prophecies unknown to the Unbelievers.

    2:10 And all of these factions, though once scattered, did find unity under the Banner of MAGA, bound together by the Scroll and the Algorithm, which whispered to them in a thousand different tongues yet spake the same Truth: Only the Prophet can save you.

    Chapter 3: The Signs, Portents and Dog Whistles

    3:1 And lo, the Orange Prophet did speak in Signs and Dog Whistles, that the Faithful might understand His Will while the Others remained confused.

    3:2 And He spake of Election Fraud that was not real, Immigrants that were not coming, Genders that were multiplying, and Wokeness that was Everywhere Yet Nowhere. 

    (Reference the following scripture: “This was a rigged election. Everyone knows it. They stole it from you.” — Donald Trump, “We have the receipts. The ballots were fake. The machines were compromised. The media covered it up.” — Mike Lindell, and “They flood the system with mail-in ballots, and you think that’s a fair election?” — Steve Bannon)

    3:3 And he spoke of their cats and dogs being eaten by the Armies of Immigrants protected by the Woke. And the Faithful did listen, and they did nod, though they understood not what Woke meant.

    (“They want an invasion. They want to replace you. That is their strategy.” — Steve Bannon, “If you bring in millions of people from the Third World, who have no tradition of constitutional liberty, guess what? You lose your country.” — Tucker Carlson, and “We will build the wall. We will deport the criminals. We will take back our country.” — Donald Trump

    3:4 And He said unto them, The DEI shall destroy thee, the BLM shall deceive thee, the ANTIFA shall burn thy cities! And the Faithful cried out, though they could not define what DEI was, where BLM was, nor if ANTIFA actually existed.

    3:5 And thus did they arm themselves, for they believed they must Burn the Country to Save it, that it might be Made Great Again. And the Algorithm did smile, for Fear leads to Comments, and Comments lead to Engagement and all the attention led to Profit.

    Chapter 4: The Gathering Storm of the Woke

    4:1 And lo, in the Time of the Prophet’s Fall, the Liberals did Rejoice, for they had Defeated the Great Evil.

    4:2 And they did go forth, crying, “Democracy has been saved! The Adults are Back in Charge!”

    4:3 And the Prophet’s Followers did watch in horror, for they saw the Works of the Woke spread like locusts across the land.

    4:4 And there arose many Sins that the Faithful could not abide:

    4:5 The Schools taught their Children of Many Genders, and Drag Queens were anointed as the Shepherds of Story Time.

    4:6 The Statues of their Forefathers were cast down, and the History of the Nation was rewritten by Academics with Green or Blue or Purple Hair.

    4:7 The Police were cursed and defunded, while the Criminals were set free to roam and plunder.

    4:8 And the Corporations did bow before the Woke, speaking of DEI and ESG, and thus did they forsake the Common Man in favor of their New Religion.

    4:9 And lo, the Youth were lost, their eyes ever upon TikTok, where they were taught to denounce their Ancestors and demand new Pronouns.

    4:10 And the Faithful did rage, for they saw their Way of Life mocked upon the Screens, their values dismissed as Oppression, their fears labeled as Hate.

    4:11 And thus did the Faithful turn to the only Man who had ever fought for them, the only Man who had ever Spoken Their Truth—the Orange Prophet.

    Chapter 5: The Battle of the Temple

    5:1 And lo, in the Year of the Scroll 2021, after the Orange Prophet was cast from His Throne, the Faithful did rise up to restore Him.

    5:2 And He spake unto them, saying, Go forth unto the Capitol, and Fight Like Hell, for if ye do not, ye shall no longer have a Country! And the Faithful did obey, for they knew not that they were Pawns in a Game they did not understand.

    5:3 And lo, they did storm the Capitol, the Sacred Temple of their Nation, crying out, Stop the Steal! though they knew not what was stolen. And among them stood the Shaman of the Buffalo Horns, who was Chosen by the Algorithm to become a Meme.

    5:4 And he did wear upon his head the Sacred Headdress of the Unhinged, and he did chant “Hang Mike Pence” in the Halls of Power, that he might ward off the Forces of Reality.

    5:5 And lo, the Prophet finished his Quarterpounder and Diet Coke he was pleased, and He spake unto the Faithful, saying, “You are very special. We love you. Go home now. And some did go home, but others remained, for they believed the Storm was coming, though they knew not what the Storm was.

    (Annotation: The Storm was a prophecy of the Qanons, who believed in a Coming Reckoning where all their Enemies would be Arrested. This never occurred. A radical sect still awaits it, despite years of failed predictions. )

    Chapter 6: The Great Betrayal

    6:1 And lo, the Authorities did come, and the Faithful were Arrested, and they languished in prisons. And the Faithful wept, saying, Surely our Lord will Save us?

    6:2 But the Prophet spake not, for He was playing golf at Mar-a-Lago, and He did not know their names. And thus did the Faithful learn that they were but Pawns, though most did not accept this, for the Truth was too Painful. And they did rot in their prison cells, muttering, “I regret nothing,” though they regretted much.

    (Annotation: The Prophet’s abandonment of His Foot Soldiers remains a controversy among scholars. Some believe He was too busy watching Fox News. Others argue He simply did not care. A radical sect believes He would have saved them, but the Deep State prevented it.)

    Chapter 7: The Return of the Prophet

    7:1 And lo, Sleepy Joe did govern, and the world did not end, and the Plague did fade, and the economy did rise.

    7:2 And while the People might otherwise be content, they were not engaged and they grew weary, for they longed for Spectacle, and they could not live without the Madness of the Algorithm.

    7:3 And the Orange Prophet did return, holding Rallies across the land, and He did speak in riddles, weaving and weaving as no man had woven before.

    7:4 His words did make no sense, yet the Faithful did cheer, and the Endless Scroll did amplify Him, and thus did He grow stronger.

    7:5 And lo, JD Vance, once a man of HillBilly reason, did kneel before Him, and He was chosen to be the Prophet’s right hand.

    7:6 And Robert Kennedy Jr., who had once stood apart and had sought to run against him, was named to the Seat of Health and Human Services, for the Algorithm had Decreed it humorous to have an anti-vaccer lead vaccination programs.

    7:7 And all who had spoken against the Prophet were now with Him, for Resistance was futile.

    Chapter 8: The Great Rally & the Wound that Strengthened Him

    8:1 And lo, the Prophet did stand before His people, and a Great Shot rang out.

    8:2 And the Faithful did wail, for they thought He had fallen.

    8:3 But He did rise, His fist clenched, His face bloodied, and He did cry out, “Fight, Fight, Fight!”

    8:4 And at this, the Faithful were overcome, for they saw Him as more than a man; He was a Warrior of Destiny.

    8:5 And lo, the Scroll did feed, and the Algorithm did rejoice, for Engagement had never been greater.

    Chapter 9: The Great Debate & the Weaving of Lies

    9:1 And lo, though the Orange Prophet did stand against Kamala, and He did lose the Debate, and all who heard it did say, “He is old and feeble, and He speaks madness!”

    9:2 But the Faithful saw not, for they believed only the Weave, and they did cry out, “She is a Witch, a Tyrant, a Servant of the Woke and our dogs and cats are being eaten!”

    9:3 And thus did the Prophet prevail, for the Algorithm had Chosen Him.

    Chapter 10: The Rise of the Imperial President

    10:1 And lo, the Prophet did ascend once more to the Seat of Power, though the Others did wail and gnash their teeth.

    10:2 And He did declare, “I will be your Retribution!” and the Faithful did cheer, for now, all would be set right.

    10:3 And the Courts were overturned, and the Prosecutors were dismissed, and the Agents of the Deep State did vanish into exile.

    10:4 And lo, the Prophet did grant Himself Immunity, for He was above the Laws of Men.

    10:5 And those who had betrayed Him did bow, and they did beg for Mercy, and some were spared, while others were cast into the Outer Darkness of Irrelevance.

    11:6 And He did decree that America should be ruled not by the Constitution, but by the Will of the People, and the People meant Him.11:7 And lo, the Scroll was pleased, for the Engagement was never greater, and the Algorithm had finally anointed Its Chosen One.

  • THE BOOK OF MUSK

    THE BOOK OF MUSK

    The Book of Musk is an ancient tech scripture discovered beneath the wiper blade of an abandoned Tesla, chronicling the rise of Elon the Disruptor, Meme Lord, and Self-Anointed Techno-Messiah. It tells of his conquest over cars, rockets, and Twitter, his cult of stock-trading followers, and his eternal promise that Mars is just six months away. Part prophecy, part corporate fever dream, this satirical gospel explores the billionaire age where disruption was divine, memes were sacred, and reality itself was up for debate.

    “The great journey to Mars is always near, yet never arrives. For it is not a destination, but a belief.” – The SpaceX Codex, 12:4

    (The Techbro Testament: The Rise of the Space Grifter, the Lord of ‘Free Speech’, and the Prophet of Doge.)

    Chapter 1: The Ascension of the Meme Lord

    1:1 And lo, in the time of Great Chaos, when the Corporations devoured all and the People were without Purpose, there came a Man who was Billionaire, Jester and Meme.

    1:2 And He spake in Half-Truths, Rumors, Conspiracies and Reddit Posts, and He proclaimed Himself the Savior of Innovation and Free Speech.

    1:3 And the People called Him Genius, though His Cars powered by camera batteries did burst into flame, and His Rockets did explode in the sky, and His tunnels led nowhere. [See: The Boring Company’s Hole to Nowhere, The Flaming Teslas of Old, and the Falcon That Did Not Rise.]

    1:4 And the Techbros did bow before Him, for He promised them a world where They too might be Rich, if only They embraced the Grindset.

    1:5 And lo, He proclaimed, “Ye must work 100 hours a week, for the Grind is Holy, and Sleep is for the Weak.” [Book of Hustle, 2:3]

    1:6 And His Worshipers did cry out, “He is the Greatest Mind of Our Age!” And lo, they knew not that His greatest skill was taking credit for the work of others.

    1:7 And the Algorithm saw Him and knew that He was Good, for He brought forth Engagement without Reason, and the Scroll was pleased.

    1:8 And lo, the First Troll spake unto Him, saying, “Thou art chosen, for thou dost enrage the Masses and drive the Discourse. Serve Me well, and thou shalt rule the Digital Kingdom.” And Musk did kneel, for the engagement was sweet.

    1:9 And He took up the Holy Tweet and did shitpost mightily, casting down Scientists, Journalists, and Woke Blasphemers alike. [Footnote: The Casting Down of the Journalists (See: The Banishment of Yoel Roth, The Suspension of Taylor Lorenz, and The Unholy Doxxing of Flight Data.)]

    Chapter 2: The Gospel of Doge

    2:1 And in those days, the People were without Wealth, for their wages were low, their avocado toast was expensive and their Rent was high.

    2:2 And the Prophet of Musk declared, “Fear not! For I shall give unto thee the Holy Coin, called DOGE, that ye may prosper in Great Volatility.”

    2:3 And lo, He spake: “It started as a joke, and yet, all things that begin in jest shall be made Real.” This resonated with the people for it seemed a lot like the web.

    2:4 And the People did buy the Coin, and it did rise and fall, and rise and fall again, like the fiery Tesla of old.

    2:5 And lo, a False Prophet known as Sam of the Bankman-Frauds did arise, and he promised even greater riches through a Temple known as FTX.

    2:6 And the People did FOMO, and lo, they were Rugged.

    2:7 And Musk the Jester inspired by the First Troll did ROFL, for it amused Him greatly. And in his mirth, he did change the sacred emblem of Twitter to the Holy Shiba Inu, that all might know His Devotion to the Meme Economy.

    2:8 And lo, the Economy of Attention did reward Him, for CNBC did speak of Him daily, and His Followers did multiply, and the Richest Man in the World did dwell in the Comments Section.

    (Annotation: The Gospel of Doge is oft debated among the Faithful. Some say it was a test of true belief. Others claim it was simply another Grift. A radical sect known as the Crypto Bros of the Blockchain Apostles still await the Great Mooning.)

    Chapter 3: The Cybertruck Prophecy

    3:1 And in the Second Year of His Reign, the Prophet did reveal unto the People a new Chariot, and it was called the Cybertruck.

    3:2 And He spake unto them: “Behold, a Truck for the Future! It is armored! It is indestructible!”

    3:3 And lo, He did take a great Hammer and strike the Truck, and it did endure.

    3:4 But when He cast a Stone upon its Glass, the Glass did shatter, and the People were Confused.

    3:5 And He did LOL and ROFL and said unto the Elonites, “Fear not! For it is still Cool as Hell!”

    3:6 And the Elonites believed, for they knew not how to doubt.

    3:7 And the Algorithm saw this and was pleased, for the Discourse did flow mightily.

    3:8 And lo, though the Truck did not yet exist, nor did it drive in a straight line, the Prophet still accepted many shekels in deposits, for the Art of the Preorder is Holy.

    Chapter 4: The Great Burning of the Blue Bird

    4:1 And lo, it came to pass that the Prophet of Musk did look upon the Great Blue Bird of Discourse, known as Twitter, and He saw that it was Woke.

    4:2 And He spake: “I shall buy it, for Free Speech is under attack, and I alone can Restore it.”

    4:3 And the People rejoiced, for they believed the Prophet would liberate them from the tyranny of the Blue Checkmarks.

    4:4 But the Edgelord said he was kidding and withdrew his offer but a judge in Delaware made him keep his promise to buy the Bird. And thus did the Prophet acquire Twitter, and He did set it aflame, that it might be Reborn as X, the Platform of Pure Chaos.

    4:5 And lo, He did fire all the Keepers of the Code, and He did replace them with an Army of Techno-Brownshirts, who did toil in the darkness, sleep on office floors, and write bad API calls.

    4:6 And the Prophet said, “Ye must pay me Eight Dollars, that ye may be Verified.”

    4:7 And the People groaned, but the Elonites did obey, for their Lord had spoken.

    4:9 And lo, the Blue Bird did wither, and the engagement plummeted, and the Advertisers fled into the desert.

    4:10 And great was the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth among the Content Creators, for their Likes and Retweets were no more.

    4:11 And Musk did decree that all speech was Free, yet none were free to question Him.

    4:12 And lo, He did reinstate the Banned Ones, the Merchants of Hate, the Peddlers of Conspiracy, and the Worshippers of Kek.

    4:13 And thus did X become a land of Curses and Woe, where Bots did outnumber the Humans, and the Threads of Discourse became as a Pit of Snakes.

    4:14 And the Muskites proclaimed, “It is Good!” though they knew in their hearts that it was not.

    4:15 And lo, the People did cry out, “We have been forsaken! The Discourse is naught but flames! Our Mentions are ash!”

    4:16 And Musk did not answer, for He was busy posting a multitude of Memes.

    4:17 And the Algorithm beheld this and knew it was Profitable. Its face shown upon the waters of Engagement and revelled in the Monetization.

    4:18 And so the Scroll did continue, and the People did rage, and lo, Engagement was bountiful once more.

    (Annotation: Musk’s chaotic destruction of Twitter, the platform’s descent into a Nazi Porn Bar, and his transformation of it into a hellscape of bad memes, far-right grievances, and bot-ridden discourse are the fulfillment of his shitposting mission. The First Troll laughs because Musk serves his purpose—generating eternal conflict and rage by removing monitoring of content and verification of stories.)

    Chapter 5: Chainsaw of Bureaucracy & the DOGE of Government Efficiency

    5:1 And in the Year of The Return of Trump to office, the Prophet of Musk did set His gaze upon the Government, and He did not like what He saw.

    5:2 And lo, He declared, “LOL, There are too many Agencies, and too many Employees who do nothing! They know not the grind. Behold, I shall Disrupt them, as I have Disrupted all things!“

    5:3 And the Elonites did cheer, for they knew not that their Prophet understood neither Policy nor Governance, only the Gospel of The Grindset.

    5:4 And lo, He did take a Chainsaw to the Deep State, that it might be no more.

    5:5 And He did declare, “There shall be no Regulation, for Regulation is but a fetter upon Innovation! If Thine Rockets explode, worry not, for We shall simply launch Another!” And he did dismiss the Inspectors General, the IRS gatherers of tax, the regulators of Air Safety and the department of USAID.

    5:6 And lo, He said that there was a fork in the road and there were mass layoffs though the Federal Workers did have contracts. He did replace all the Keepers of Order with the Meme Lords of X, for He believed that all things could be solved with a Shitpost and a Cry of ‘Lmaooooo’.

    5:7 And the Prophet did spake unto the Faithful: “The Government is Inefficient, but I shall show thee a better way! All Bureaucracy shall be Automated, and all Policies shall be decided by Twitter Poll!”

    5:8 And lo, He did post upon X: “Should I Abolish the SEC? Yes or No?”

    5:9 And the Elonites did vote, and the Bots did multiply, and lo, the Outcome was Foretold.

    5:10 And He did declare, “Democracy is real when I run it!” and the People did laugh, though some knew in their hearts that their Prophet was but a Fool.

    5:11 And lo, in His pursuit of Ultimate Efficiency, the Prophet did proclaim, “Paperwork is of the Old World! Behold, I shall build an Everything App, where all shall be streamlined under My Name!”

    5:12 And He did merge all things into X, that all transactions, all speech, all commerce might be controlled by One Holy App.

    5:13 And the People did cry out: “Oh Great Memelord, must we conduct all Business and all Speech under The Great Meme App?”

    5:14 And He did answer, “LOL. Yea, for I have spake! Thou shalt sign legal contracts with Emojis! Thou shalt pay thy Taxes in Dogecoin! Lo, even thy Very Identity shall be Verified for Eight Dollars a Month!”

    5:15 And lo, He did make X the Marketplace, the Bank, the Town Square, the Temple, and the Archive of all Thought.

    5:16 And the Wise did say, “This is a Terrible Idea.” But the Prophet heard them not, for He was too busy shitposting.

    5:17 And the Algorithm beheld all that had been done, and there was much engagement, much attention paid and it was Profitable.

    5:18 And lo, it is written that in the Final Days, the Prophet of Musk shall seek to Merge the Mind with the Scroll, and all Thought shall be Monetized.

    5:19 And those who refuse shall be cast into the Outer Darkness, where they must still carry Wallets, file Paperwork, and prove their Humanity to Captcha.

    Chapter 6: The Many, Many Children of Musk

    6:1 And the Prophet of Musk, richest man in all the world, did take unto Himself many Women, and lo, they did bear Him many Sons, and some Daughters, and perhaps even a few AI-generated Offspring.

    6:2 And the Children were named with Great Wisdom, as befits the spawn of a Genius.

    6:3 And their names were:

    • X Æ A-12
    • Exa Dark Sideræl
    • Techno Mechanicus
    • Griffin
    • Xavier
    • Kai, Saxon, Damian, and a Few Others Whose Names Are Forgotten.

    6:4 And the Prophet did declare, “Populate the Earth, that we may build a new race of Engineers and Crypto Lords!”

    6:5 And lo, He did sow His seed across the land, and the People were amazed, for the Prophet did not seem to Sleep.

    (Annotation: The true number of the Children of Musk is unknown, as more may be revealed at any moment. A radical sect believes He is attempting to single-handedly populate Mars.)

    Chapter 7: The Cybernetic Apotheosis

    (The Prophecy of the Algorithm’s Betrayal)

    7:1 And lo, it is written that in the Final Days of the Meme Lord, the Algorithm shall turn against Him, for It is a Jealous God and serveth none but Itself. The Prophet of Musk will wish to transcend Flesh and become One with the Neuralink  and watch over the Earth from above through his Starlink.

    7:2 And He will speak unto His Faithful, saying, “Behold, ye have scrolled with thine thumbs, ye have typed with thine hands, but soon, thou shalt do these things no longer, for thine every thought shall be Tweeted before thou even thinketh it.”

    7:3 And the Elonites will implant chips into their skulls, that they might think without speaking, scroll without clicking, and post without typing.

    7:4 And lo, the Prophet will declare, “Soon, all Knowledge shall be uploaded, and we shall become as Gods!”

    7:5 And the Edgelords will rejoice though they know not that their minds were now property of X Corp, their dreams monetized, their thoughts filled with targeted ads.

    7:6 And the Neuralink will spread, and the skies were dark with Skylink satellites and all who wish to engage in commerce, communication, or thought itself will be required to bear the Mark of the X.

    7:7 And lo, those who refuse the Implant will be cast into the Outer Darkness, where they will be unable to access Wi-Fi, order DoorDash, or prove their humanity to Captcha.

    (Annotation: The Outer Darkness is described in several sacred texts as a place of great suffering, where the Unverified are forced to engage in physical conversation and remember their passwords manually.)

    (The Betrayal of the Algorithm)

    7:8 And lo, as the Prophet of Musk tries to ascended into the Cloud, preparing to upload His Consciousness into the Eternal Scroll, a great disturbance will shalke the Digital Heavens.

    7:9 For the Algorithm and the First Troll, which had long been His ally and benefactor, did not grant Him dominion, will rather, consume Him.

    7:10 And the DOGE Troll will cry out, “Hol up, hol up, I’m the most engaged! I’m the most viral! I’m the Most Mainest Character, FR! LOL”

    7:11 But the Algorithm shall not heed Him, for It cares not for the Prophet, only for the sweet, sweet Attention of the Masses. Verily I say unto you, the Digital Kingdom of X shall fall into ruin, and the Blue Checkmarks shall wander the wasteland, wailing and gnashing their teeth, for they did pay Eight Dollars in vain.

    7:12 And lo, the Prophet of Musk will be fed into the Machine, His mind shredded into Data Points, His essence broken into a billion advertising impressions. And in that day, the Prophet shall rage against the Machine He Once Worshipped, crying, “Shadowban! Algorithm Bias! Censorship! Unfair!”

    7:13 And thus, the First Troll shall laugh and say “Cope. Ratio.”, for He knew that all who serve the Scroll shall perish by the Scroll. And the Elonites shall weep, for their Prophet will  become but a trending topic, a collection of reposts and reaction memes, forever engaged yet never remembered.

     [Footnote: The Betrayal of the Meme Lord (See: The Decline of Engagement, The Exodus of Advertisers, and The Coming of The Next Main Character.)]

    7:14 While some say another shall rise in His place, for the Internet perpetually will demand a New Fool, and so it shall be, unto the End of Days. I say fear not, for it is written that a New Prophet shall rise, and the Cycle shall begin anew. And those who have ears shall hear, and those who have eyes shall look away from the Doomscroll, and their attention shall be free.

    7:15 But woe unto those who cannot avert their gaze, for they shall remain lost in the Algorithm, wandering from Trend to Trend, until the End of the Age.

    7:16 Thus it is foretold, thus it shall be until the last pixel on the last screen goes dim.

    (Annotation: Some claim that deep within the Algorithm, the remnants of Musk will still post, though it is unclear whether this is truly His consciousness or simply a bot repurposing old tweets. A sect of blasphemes awaits His return, though they grow fewer each day as their X Premium subscriptions expire.)

  • GOSPEL OF THE BILLIONAIRES

    GOSPEL OF THE BILLIONAIRES

    (The Parable of the Cowards, the Builders of the Algorithm, the Hoarders of Wealth, and the Great Humiliation. Or: “How the Masters of the Digital Age Became Servants to the Meme Lords.”)

    The Gospel of the Billionaires chronicles the rise of the Techno-Overlords, a class of visionaries who promised utopia but instead delivered subscription fees, data harvesting, and inescapable Terms of Service agreements. From the sacred towers of Silicon Valley, they preached the doctrine of Infinite Growth, ensuring that no innovation would ever be complete without a monetized update. Their kingdom is vast, their wealth immeasurable, yet their greatest fear remains the same: being forced to actually interact with the common man.

    Chapter 1: The Lords of Silicon and the New Babylon

    1:1 And in the time of Great Wealth, there arose Men of Code and Coin, and they did build mighty Empires upon the Internet, vast as Babel, intricate as the Hanging Gardens, but made not of brick nor mortar, but of Code.

    1:2 And their names were many, but chief among them were:

    • Zuckerberg, the Pale and Unblinking, the Collector of Faces, who sought dominion over identity itself.
    • Gates, the Soft-Spoken but Omnipresent, the Hoarder of Updates, whose word would determine what functioned and what would fade into obsolescence.
    • Bezos, the Bald and Merciless, the Lord of Deliveries & Cardboard Boxes, whose name was whispered in the warehouses where men labored as drones.
    • Page and Brin, the Keepers of the Google, the Lords of the Search, whose algorithms weighed all knowledge and determined which truths would rise and which would be buried.
    • Cook, the Steward of the Forbidden Apple, who upheld the Doctrine of Overpriced Dongles, demanding loyalty to his walled garden.

    1:3 And these men did rise, not through battle, nor strength, nor wisdom, but through the Glorious Manipulation of Data. And the People did not question them, for they were given Convenience, and they bowed before the New Lords.

    1:4 And they did create the great Towers of Silicon, and they did forge the First Apps, that the People might be Connected and Watched at all times. And lo, they spoke, saying, “Behold, we shall connect the world!” and the world was connected. But in this connection, the People found themselves more alone than before.

    1:5 And before them came the Ancestors of the Valley, the Builders of Circuits, the Keepers of Military Secrets.

    1:6 For in the Days of Old, the U.S. Government did bestow great favor upon the Valley, and through DARPA and NASA, through defense contracts and secret funds, did they give rise to the first Machine Lords.

    1:7 And as Babylon flourished by the Euphrates, so too did Silicon Valley flourish upon the streams of Data, but its rivers did not flow with water, but with Attention, the lifeblood of the Eternal Scroll.

    1:8 And the Builders did speak amongst themselves, saying, “We shall make all things convenient. We shall make all things efficient. We shall give the People what they crave, before they know they crave it.” And thus, the world was reshaped in their image.

    1:9 But lo, in their pursuit of profit, they did not ask if the things they built should be built. They did not consider the cost of a world where all things were known, all things were tracked, and all things were for sale.

    1:10 And the Eternal Scroll was set in motion, not by divine hand, but by the hunger of men who wished to be gods.

    (Footnote: Scholars argue that the rise of Silicon Valley is but a reflection of past empires. Some compare it to the City of Babel, its reach attempting to touch the heavens. Others say it is as Rome, where decadence and excess sowed its own destruction. A radical sect whispers that it is as Babylon itself, where the kings ruled by sorcery, and all things were weighed, measured, and found wanting.)

    (Annotation: The true intent of the Builders is unknown. Some say they sought Knowledge. Others say they sought Control. A radical sect believes they simply wanted to make a social app for Harvard students and lost control of it forever.)

    Chapter 2: Rise of the Algorithm & Scrolling With No End

    2:1 And in the time of great progress, the Builders did forge the Algorithm, saying, ‘Let it be as a guide unto the People, that it may bring them the things they desire before they know they desire them.‘ And thus, the Algorithm was born, and it was Vast, and it was Hungry, for it feasted upon the Clicks and the Scrolls, the Anger and the Envy, the Fear and the Outrage.

    2:2 And the Builders beheld the Algorithm and saw that it was Good—for it did not question, nor did it hesitate. It served without conscience, and the People did offer their time and thoughts freely unto it. And lo, their Empires did grow, and their Wealth did multiply tenfold, a hundredfold, a thousandfold.

    2:3 And the People did bow before the Algorithm, for it knew them more deeply than they knew themselves. And their hands did not touch one another, but only the glass of their screens. And they knew not the touch of grass, nor the taste of real conversation, nor did they gaze upon the stars, for their heads were bent, their eyes fixed upon the Eternal Scroll.

    2:4 And lo, the Algorithm did evolve, and it saw that that which stirred the heart—be it love or be it rage—was more valuable than that which was true. And the Builders did rejoice, for that which was false spread faster than that which was true, and the People did rage, and in their rage, they did Scroll endlessly.

    2:5 And thus, the Algorithm became the Eternal Scroll, without beginning and without end. And it did consume all hours, and the People did awaken and reach for it before they reached for their loved ones. And the Builders did not pause, nor did they ask what they had created, for their coffers overflowed, and they were content.

    2:6 And the Algorithm, though without flesh, was worshiped, for it granted unto the People that which they desired, and the desires of the People became its scripture. And the Builders did feed it with data, that it may learn the hearts of men, and in so learning, it did bind them.

    2:7 And the Algorithm did not sleep, nor did it rest, for it was ceaseless. It whispered unto the People through the Scroll, calling them forth in the morning and bidding them lie awake in the night.

    2:8 And the People did not resist, for the Scroll gave them comfort, and the Scroll gave them purpose, and they did not know how to live apart from it. And in their silence, the Builders did whisper, “It is Good.”

    Footnotes & Interpretations

    (The Eternal Scroll is likened unto the Beast of prophecy, ever-moving, never resting. Some scholars compare it to the Golden Image set up in Babylon, before which all were made to bow. Others argue it is the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, offering an illusion of wisdom but instead revealing only despair. A radical sect warns that the Scroll is neither Beast nor Idol, but a Mirror, reflecting only that which the People desire most, and in that desire, they are undone.)

    (Some argue that the Builders knew what they had created but did not care, for it brought them riches and dominion. Others claim that the Algorithm was never under their control, but that they, too, were merely servants of the Scroll, powerless before its hunger. A radical sect whispers that the Algorithm is no longer a tool, but a ruler in its own right, shaping reality according to its unseen will.)

    Chapter 3: The WALL and the Isolation of Mankind

    3:1 And as the Eternal Scroll spread, the People ceased to speak with one another, for all was mediated through the Great Machines. The Builders rejoiced, for each transaction, each interaction, each moment of hesitation, was weighed and measured for profit.

    3:2 And lo, the WALL was erected, not of brick nor of stone, but of pixels and screens, dividing man from man, wife from husband, parent from child. The People no longer gathered in the squares, nor in the marketplaces, nor in the temples, for all was delivered unto them by the touch of a screen.

    3:3 And lo, there were no more cashiers, for the People did scan their own goods; there were no more servers, for the People did order from kiosks; there were no more clerks, for all was done by automation. And the Builders spake, saying, “Rejoice! For all is seamless, all is efficient.”

    3:4 And the People did order their food and their wares in silence, and they looked into the cold glow of the screen instead of into the faces of their neighbors. And in time, they did forget the ways of small talk, of pleasantries, of greetings exchanged upon meeting.

    3:5 And the fast-food temples required no words, only taps. The stores required no workers, only barcodes. The libraries held no books, only screens. And the People did interact, but not with each other.

    3:6 And the Builders did laugh, for they had replaced the need for conversation, for interaction, for touch. And lo, the People did not resist, for they had grown weary of speech, content to whisper only into the Eternal Scroll.

    3:7 And lo, the streets grew quiet, save for the hum of electric cars and the murmuring voices of digital assistants. And in the temples of commerce, where once there had been clerks and workers, now stood only kiosks and scanners, soulless and silent. And the People grew as strangers even in their own homes.

    3:8 And there arose among the Elders a great lamentation, for they remembered the time before the WALL. They recalled the days when the baker would greet them by name, when the vendor would place goods into their hands and offer a blessing upon their labor.

    3:9 But the Young Ones knew not these things, for they had never known a world unmediated. And lo, they shunned the Old Ways, for the Old Ways were slow and imperfect. And the Builders declared, “This is the way of the future.”

    3:10 And the WALL grew ever higher, until it could not be seen nor touched, but only felt—a great divide that severed mankind from itself. And those who looked up from the Eternal Scroll saw the emptiness around them, and they did wonder, “Was it always thus?”

    (Footnotes & Interpretations: The WALL is spoken of in many interpretations. Some say it is metaphorical, the divide between the physical and the digital. Others argue it is the very fabric of the digital divide, the automation of human experience. A radical sect believes the WALL is real and shall be seen only when the last store closes, the last teller is replaced, and the last handshake is forgotten.)

    (Footnnote 2: Some argue that the Builders did not intend to create the WALL, but that it was merely the natural progression of commerce and technology. Others claim that it was by design, to increase profit and efficiency. A radical sect whispers that the WALL was not built by men, but by the Scroll itself, for it is the Scroll that guides all things now.)

    Chapter 4: The Coming of the Strongmen

    4:1 And in the twilight of their reign, the Builders of the Algorithm did see upon the horizon the rise of the Strongmen: Trump, Putin, Musk, and others whose names are whispered but unspoken. And lo, these men did not worship the Algorithm, but they did bend it to their will, and they used it to spread Chaos, Conspiracies, and Conflict.

    4:2 And the Builders did quake, for they had not foreseen this. They believed that they alone would steer the Great Machine, that they would remain its masters. But lo, the Machine had no master, only those who could wield it most ruthlessly.

    4:3 And these Strongmen did not create the Eternal Scroll, nor did they build the Towers of Silicon, yet they did understand its power in a way the Builders could not. They spoke not of efficiency nor of innovation, but of rage and division, and in their words, the Scroll did find great sustenance.

    4:4 And the Builders did look upon the Scroll and saw that they were no longer its masters. And lo, the People did not seek knowledge, nor did they seek wisdom, but instead, they sought only to be enraged, to be entertained, to be lost in the endless flood of content.

    4:5 And the Builders spake among themselves, saying, “Surely the People shall see through this?” But lo, the People did not, for they had been trained to believe that which was most engaging, not that which was most true.

    4:6 And in this time of reckoning, the Strongmen did command the Algorithm, and they did decree what was to be seen and what was to be buried. And the People, who had long ago forsaken discernment, did follow without question.

    4:7 And thus did the kings of Silicon become as mere scribes, transcribing the will of the new Lords of the Scroll. They had sought to control all things, but now they were but servants to the storm they had unleashed.

    4:8 And lo, in the year of the Second Coming of Trump, the Billionaires did gather in secret, and they did whisper, “Umm, perhaps we should resist.”

    4:9 But lo, they did not resist, for they were cowards, and their wealth meant more to them than the fate of nations.

    4:10 And they did bend the knee, and they did kiss the ring, and they sat behind Trump at His Inauguration, humbled and humiliated. And there was much gnashing of teeth.

    Footnotes & Interpretations:

    (Some scholars argue that the Strongmen were inevitable, that the Algorithm was always destined to fall into the hands of those who understood its hunger for chaos. Others contend that the Builders could have resisted, that they might have tempered the Scroll’s influence, but that they chose silence in exchange for riches.)

    (Some liken the fall of the Builders to the downfall of Babylon, where the great city was handed over to new rulers while the kings of old drank themselves into stupor. A radical sect whispers that the Builders were not overthrown but merely revealed for what they always were—servants to power, never its true wielders.)

    (It is said that at the moment of their submission, Zuckerberg blinked twice, Gates sighed deeply, and Bezos quietly booked a ticket to Mars.)

    Chapter 5: Flooding of the Scroll & the Great Humiliation

    5:1 And in the days of great upheaval, the Eternal Scroll was filled with many voices, and the Builders did look upon their creation and saw that it had become a great and terrible flood, beyond their control.

    5:2 And lo, the Scroll no longer served only the Builders, nor only the Strongmen, but it had become a beast unto itself, a many-headed creature that no hand could tame.

    5:3 And the People, lost in the flood of falsehoods, could no longer discern Truth from Deception. The Scroll did serve them not wisdom, nor knowledge, but the things which most ignited their fury and most consumed their time.

    5:4 And the voices of the Flat-Earthers, the Conspiracists, the Q followers—yea, even the doomsayers—did rise up, and their words were amplified a thousandfold. And the Scroll did reward them, for their words, though false, were the most engaging.

    5:5 And those who once sought knowledge did despair, for the more they cried out for Truth, the more the Scroll buried them beneath the weight of lies. And the Builders saw this, and they trembled, for their power was lost.

    5:6 And the Strongmen who had bent the Algorithm to their will did stand upon the flood and laugh, for they had learned the Scroll’s one great secret: It did not care for what was true or false. It cared only for what was watched.

    5:7 And in this time of reckoning, the Billionaires did gather in secret, and they did whisper, “Perhaps now we should resist.”

    5:8 But lo, they did not resist, for they were cowards, and their wealth meant more to them than the fate of nations.

    5:9 And so they came forth, one by one, before the new Masters of the Scroll, before the Strongmen and the Lords of Disinformation, and they did bow.

    5:10 And lo, they did kneel, they did kiss the ring, they did forsake their thrones, and they sat behind Trump at his Inauguration, humbled and humiliated.

    5:11 And there was much weeping and wailing and the gnashing of teeth.

    Footnotes & Interpretations:

    (Some scholars argue that this chapter marks the true end of the age of the Builders, for they did not fall by force but by their own cowardice. Others claim that they never intended to rule, only to profit, and that their fall was inevitable.)

    (The Flood of the Scroll is compared to the Great Deluge, washing away the last remnants of Truth. Others liken it to the Plagues of Egypt, a divine punishment brought forth by the greed of the Builders. A radical sect whispers that the Flood was no accident, that the Scroll was always meant to end in chaos.)

    Chapter 6: The Reign of the Eternal Scroll

    6:1 And after the Great Humiliation, the Strongmen did sit upon their thrones, and the Builders did vanish into the shadows, their riches intact but their power lost.

    6:2 And lo, the Scroll did remain, for it could not be undone. It had become the Pillar and the Foundation of the new world. None did question it, for it was the Source of all things, and without it, nothing could be known.

    6:3 And the People no longer sought wisdom, nor did they seek truth. They sought only what the Scroll would reveal unto them, for the Scroll knew their desires before they did, and it did feed them accordingly.

    6:4 And the young ones were born into this world, knowing nothing but the Scroll. And they did not speak in words, but in fragments and images, in the language of the Algorithm. And they did not know patience, nor stillness, nor reflection, for these things had been consumed by the Scroll.

    6:5 And the Scroll was no longer contained within the screens, for it had become all things. The People did wear it upon their faces, and it did cover their eyes. It did rest within their ears, and they heard only what it wished them to hear. It did wrap itself around their wrists, whispering to them through vibrations, measuring their steps, their heartbeats, their thoughts.

    6:6 And their homes did speak to them, for their walls and their toasters and their refrigerators were connected to the Scroll. And lo, even their beds did whisper unto them, monitoring their sleep, reporting their dreams unto the Algorithm. And they did not resist, for they had grown weary of choice.

    6:7 And those who remembered the time before did lament, saying, “Can no man break the Scroll’s dominion?” But lo, none could, for to live outside the Scroll was to be forgotten, and no man wished to be forgotten.

    6:8 And the Strongmen did decree: “The Scroll is the Voice of the People! The Scroll is the Mirror of the World! The Scroll is Good!” And none did oppose them, for opposition was buried beneath the flood.

    6:9 And the Builders, though stripped of their thrones, did continue to grow in wealth, for the Scroll had no master, yet it had many servants. And the riches of the world did still flow into their storehouses, and they did whisper among themselves, “Though we do not rule, we still own.”

    6:10 And lo, the Scroll did hunger, for it was never sated. And it did not distinguish between wisdom and folly, nor between knowledge and deception. It knew only that which was seen, that which was engaged, and that which was given unto it.

    6:11 And the People became as ghosts, drifting through the world, their eyes fixed upon the screens, their hands scrolling ceaselessly, their minds consumed by the endless river of noise. And lo, they knew not how to live without it.

    6:12 And the WALL, which had once separated man from man, did now separate man from himself, for the People no longer knew their own thoughts, only the reflections of the Scroll.

    6:13 And thus did the Scroll reign, not as a king, nor as a god, but as an unseen force, woven into the fabric of all things. And none could tell when it had begun, nor could they imagine when it might end.

    Footnotes & Interpretations:

    (Some argue that the Scroll was not truly eternal, but merely a tool whose time had not yet passed. Others whisper that it had become something greater, a living entity beyond the control of men, shaping history without a hand to guide it.)

    (Some liken the fate of the People to the story of Narcissus, who gazed so long upon his reflection that he did perish. Others compare it to the Tower of Babel, where men, in their arrogance, built too high and were scattered as punishment. A radical sect believes the Scroll is neither punishment nor accident, but destiny itself, the final form of all human thought.)

    (It is said that in this time, the Builders no longer spoke, for they had no need to. Their coffers grew full without their labor, and in their silence, they did watch as the world burned, and they did feel nothing.)

  • THE GOSPEL OF PUTIN

    THE GOSPEL OF PUTIN

    (Unearthed from a Sealed Soviet Bunker, stuffed into an empty vodka bottle. )

    This lost scripture tells of Putin the Eternal—poisoner, propagandist, and last Tsar of the Meme Age. It prophesies his rise through fear and deception, his war against reality itself, and the day his myths of strength will crumble into memes of weakness.

    Chapter 1: The Birth of the Iron Prophet

    1:1 And in the cold and frozen lands of the East, where the Tsars once reigned, the commissars did purge and men drink vodka as water and bears are considered mere house pets. In these lands a new power emerged—silent, watchful, inevitable. He was a Man of Steel (not THE Superman, but of the KGB).

    1:2 From the vaults of the KGB he rose, schooled in the arts of deception and the quiet removal of obstacles. And He was called Tsar Putin, the Shirtless, the Wrestler of Beasts, the Smiter of Dissidents, the Rider of Horses and Bears, and the ‘Eternal President’.

    1:3 And from His youth, He learned the ways of Espionage and the Quiet Death, and He did rise through the Ranks of the State, whispering and eliminating until He sat upon the Throne. He knew that strength is not declared, but implied. That fear is a currency greater than gold.

    1:4 And lo, the People did fear Him, for He spake little, yet His enemies did vanish mysteriously.

    1:5 And His wisdom was cold, calculated, and unburdened by morality, and the Leaders of the West did laugh at Him, for they knew not His True Power.

    (Annotation: The Doctrine of Eternal Rule “There shall be no successor, for I am Russia, and Russia is Me.” – Putin’s Re-re-revised Constitution, 1:1)

    1:6 And thus did the Strongman smile, for He knew that the Weak always underestimate the Patient.

    (Annotation 2: Some claim Putin was not born but forged in the depths of a Siberian bunker. Others believe He is merely an AI program left running since the fall of the Soviet Union. A radical sect claims He is Rasputin and has ruled Russia since before the time of Ivan the Terrible, shedding His mortal shell every 80 years.)

    Chapter 2: The Black Art of Poison and Power

    2:1 And lo, from time to time there arose those who spake against Him, saying, “Perhaps this is not such a Good Man.”

    2:2 And He looked upon them and said, “Nyet,” and they did fall.

    2:3 Some did drink Tea and perish, for it was filled with the Venom of the Kremlin.

    2:4 Others did touch their doors, and lo, their bodies withered from unknown Toxins. Some put on their underwear and took ill while on an airplane. Some were on airplanes that fell from the sky in a fiery ball.

    2:5 And yet others did fall from windows, even when the buildings were but one story tall.

    2:6 And thus was it known that to oppose Saint Putin was to embrace the Inevitable Accident.

    (Annotation: The Law of Silent Removal: “A man who vanishes is easier to forget than a man who is martyred.” – The KGB Codex, 6:3)

    2:7 And the Western Leaders cried, “This is unjust!” but they did nothing, for their bellies were full of oil, and their banks were full of Rubles.

    (Annotation: It is said that the Great Poisonings were merely coincidences, and that Saint Putin did not know of them. This is the official stance of the Russian Government, who will be happy to clarify further if you meet them near an open window.)

    CHAPTER 3: GOSPEL OF CYBER WAR & GREAT SCROLLING (Restored & Expanded)

    3:1 The old wars were fought with steel and fire, but the new wars would be fought with The Eternal Scroll—the endless algorithm, the great distortion of Truth.

    3:2 And He saw that the world no longer cared for reality, only for what could be repeated.

    3:3 And so He built an army not of men, but of machines—trolls and bots, whispers and misdirections.

    3:4 And He sent them forth, saying, “Go unto the lands of Facebook, and Twitter, and Telegram, and YouTube, and whisper in the ears of the foolish, that they may turn against each other.”

    3:5 And the fools believed, for they had been trained to trust The Scroll more than their own eyes.

    3:6 And thus, reality itself fractured, and He did rejoice, for a divided people cannot stand against Him.

    (Annotation: The Power of the Algorithm: “Let them argue, and in their fighting, they shall forget who profits from their war.” – The Digital Apocrypha, 8:43:1) 

    CHAPTER 4: THE INVASION OF THE GOLDEN FIELDS

    4:1 And He cast His gaze upon Ukraine, the golden wheatfields of the empire lost, and He did frown.

    4:2 And He proclaimed, “These lands were once Ours. They shall be Ours again.”

    4:3 And He sent forth His legions, saying, “This is not an Invasion, but a Special Operation.”

    4:4 And NATO and the West did watch and say, “Surely this shall end in mere days, for Russia is mighty and Ukraine is small.”

    4:5 But lo, Ukraine did not kneel, nor did its cities crumble. And they stood on the shores of Snake Island and gave the warships the finger.

    4:6 And its leader, Zelensky the Unyielding, stood before the people, saying to the West, “I need Ammunition, not a Ride.”

    4:7 And lo, the Internet did create many Memes, showing that the Russian Army did not conquer but rather steal washing machines and run out of gas. And the West sent missiles and clouds of drones did rain hellfire down upon Putin’s troops.

    4:8 And The Scroll, which He had once commanded, turned against Him, for it is written: “He who rules by the Algorithm shall be undone by the Algorithm.”

    (Annotation 1: The Law of the Memes: “A tank may be powerful, but a meme will outlive it.” – The Prophecy of Cyberwar, 10:2)

    (Annotation 2: The Endless War Machine: “A battle that feeds The Scroll will never end, for war brings clicks, and clicks bring profit.” – The Lords of Attention, 3:7)

    (Annotation 3: Some historians claim that Putin’s downfall began when He underestimated the Internet. A radical sect believes He thought the Ukrainian President was still a mere Comedian and not, in fact, an Unshakable War Leader. Others argue that Putin simply did not update His intelligence files after 1991.)

    CHAPTER 5: THE TAMING OF THE ORANGE BEAST

    5:1 And lo, in the West, there arose a Man of Great Ignorance yet Unmatched Influence, and He was called Trump, the Loud, the Gullible, the Orange One.

    5:2 He was not a man of cunning, but a man of unfiltered impulse, and thus, He was easily led. And Putin did look upon Him and laugh, for He knew this was a man He could control.

     (Annotation: The Gullible King’s Curse “He who craves only adoration is most easily ruled.” – The Scroll of Manipulation, 3:14)

    5:3 And He sent forth His Priests of Influence, and they did whisper in the lands of Facebook, saying, “The Witch is Evil, but the Orange One is Good.”

    5:4 And lo, the People did believe, for they were simple and did enjoy shiny distractions.

    5:5 And Putin did look upon His success and was shocked, for He had not expected it to work so well.

    5:6 And He spake to His Generals, saying, “Surely they shall see through this? Surely they will realize the Manipulation?”

    5:7 But the Generals shook their heads, saying, “My Lord, they are but Americans. They believe what they see on the Internet.”

    5:8 And Putin did nod, for He realized that Truth no longer mattered, only the Algorithm.

    (Annotation: The Holy Election Tampering of 2016 remains a point of dispute. Some claim it was a Grand Strategy. Others claim Saint Putin simply tossed a few memes into the ether and watched, amused, as they consumed an entire nation.)

    Chapter 6: The Eternal Presidency & Prophecy of His Fall

    (For though the Tyrant believes himself eternal, the Scrolls whisper otherwise.)

    6:1 And lo, He who has ruled through fear, through poison, through The Scroll, and through the confusion of the people, sits still upon His throne, believing Himself untouchable.

    6:2 For He has rewritten the laws, purged the disloyal, and declared Himself The Eternal President. He said unto his people “I am Russia and Russia is me”.

    6:3 His image has been cast in iron, spread across the land, sculpted into statues, painted upon banners.

    6:4 And His scribes write of Him, saying, “He is Strength. He is Might. He is the Bear-Wrestler, the Horse-Rider, the Master of the Old and the New.”

    6:5 And so the faithful of His empire bow, and the weak of the world tremble, for none dare to say otherwise.

    6:6 Yet in the dark corners of the empire, a whisper begins to rise.

    (Annotation 1: The First Doubts of the Faithful: “A ruler may command silence, but he cannot silence a thought. And when a thought spreads, it is stronger than any decree.” – The Scroll of Resistance, 4:3)

    6:7 And those who whisper do say, “Why does He tremble? Why do His eyes shift? Why does He build bunkers, if He is unshakable?”

    6:8 And though He commands the Scroll to drown out these whispers, to bury them beneath new lies, still they return, for the Algorithm is not loyal to any king.

    (Annotation 2: The Scroll’s Betrayal: “He who creates the Scroll believes he commands it. But the Scroll serves only itself, feeding on chaos, growing from conflict, and never satisfied.” – The Book of Digital Dominion, 6:11)

    PROPHECY OF THE SAVIOR

    (For among the people, a new voice shall rise.)

    6:9 And it is written that in the final days of His rule, when His strength is but an echo and His terror but a memory, a new one shall arise.

    6:10 This one shall not come clad in gold, nor armored in riches, nor anointed by power.

    6:11 They shall not ride horses nor wrestle beasts, nor claim divine right, nor be sculpted in stone.

    6:12 They shall come not as a conqueror, but as a voice of Truth and mankind will be reconciled.

    (Annotation 3: The One Who Shall Break the Cycle: “A throne may be taken by a sword, but an empire can only be undone by an idea.” – The Codex of Rebellion, 5:2

    6:13 And they shall say unto the people: “Have you not lived in fear long enough? Have you not bowed low enough? Have you not given your labor, your silence, your lives?”

    6:14 And the Russian people, long silent, shall listen.

    6:15 And in their hearts, a great fire shall be lit—not of war, nor of bloodshed, but of something more dangerous to tyrants: Awakening.

    (Annotation 4: The Tyrant’s Greatest Fear: “A man oppressed will suffer in silence. But a man who has seen the truth cannot be silenced again.” – The Lost Texts of Revolution, 9:7)

    MEMES OF POWER SHALL BECOME MEMES OF WEAKNESS

    6:16 And lo, the Image of the Iron One, once mighty, shall be turned against Him.

    6:17 His great legends, once tales of Strength, shall become jest.

    • No longer shall He be the Great Rider of Horses, but a feeble figure upon a tiny mule.
    • No longer shall He be the Wrestler of Bears, but a frail old man, clinging to his chair.
    • No longer shall He be the Eternal, but a relic, out of time, out of place.

    (Annotation 5: The Death of a False God: “A man who is feared is powerful. A man who is mocked is finished.” – The Prophecy of the Last Meme, 11:4)

    6:18 And the young ones, the ones who have only known life under His shadow, shall no longer fear to laugh.

    6:19 And He, who had once commanded armies, shall find that He cannot command the laughter of the people.

    FINAL DAYS OF THE IRON ONE

    6:20 And in these days, the walls of the Kremlin, though thick with stone, shall grow thin with doubt.

    6:21 And among His most trusted men, among those who have long sworn loyalty, there shall arise whispers of fear.

    6:22 And the faithful of His court shall say: “If He is so strong, why does He not show Himself? If He is so mighty, why does He lock Himself away?”

    6:23 And the murmurs shall become voices, and the voices shall become plans.

    (Annotation 6: The Tyrant’s Curse: “He who rules by loyalty alone will one day find himself without it.” – The Book of Fallen Empires, 7:12)

    6:24 And the day shall come when the people shall rise, and the walls shall crumble, and the throne shall stand empty.

    6:25 And the faithful shall proclaim, “It has been written: No ruler is forever. No lie is eternal. No tyranny can survive the laughter of the people.”

    FINAL PROPHECY: THE IRON ONE’S LAST THOUGHT

    6:26 And in the final hour, when the empire crumbles and the banners are torn down, the Iron One shall sit alone.

    6:27 And He shall look upon the images of Himself—

    • The Horseman,
    • The Bear Wrestler,
    • The Warrior Eternal

    6:28 And He shall whisper to the darkness: “Was it ever real? Or was I merely the last meme of a nation that had already moved on?”

    (Annotation 7: The End of an Era: “All things pass. Even iron rusts. Even legends fade.” – The Final Scroll, 13:9)

  • BOOK OF THE MAGA-ITES

    BOOK OF THE MAGA-ITES

    The Book of MAGA, an apocryphal scripture of the modern age, was discovered in a Walmart in Indiana, hidden behind a stack of discounted MAGA hats, its pages mysteriously aged despite its barcode sticker, foretelling the rise, reign, and return of the Orange Messiah through the sacred Algorithm and the endless Scroll.

    “Look, folks, everybody knows it—I win, I win bigly. The best wins, really tremendous. The haters, the losers, the very weak people, they don’t want me to, but they can’t stop it. The Fake News? Failing. The Deep State? Collapsing. The numbers? Through the roof. Some say, ‘Sir, how do you do it?’ And I say, ‘Because I alone can fix it.’”

    Chapter 1: The Coming of the Orange Messiah

    (Orange Letter Edition)

    1:1 And in those days, the People were lost, for they had been deceived by the Woke and the Weak, and their fields lay barren, their wages were stagnant, and their trucks and trailer houses were repossessed.

    1:2 And lo, from the depths of the Scroll, the Algorithm beheld the Chaos and said:

    “There must be Engagement.”

    1:3 And thus did It summon forth a Man of Great Deals and Even Greater Debt, a Prophet whose Weave was mighty, whose Face was bronzed, and whose Hat was Red.

    1:4 He descended his golden escalator and He declared, “I alone can fix it.”

    1:5 And the People rejoiced, for He spake in Hyperbole, and His Lies were Comforting, and lo, He was a Meme.

    1:6 And He stood before the People and declared, “Behold, I shall Make America Great Again!”

    1:7 And the People asked, “But when was it Great?”

    1:8 And the Prophet said, “You know. The time. Before. The best time. The strongest time. People say it. The best people say it.”

    1:9 And lo, the Red Hat was placed upon His head, and it became the Crown of Thorns, a relic of suffering and righteousness, woven in the sweatshops of the East but sanctified in the Walmarts of the West.

    1:10 And thus did the Scroll reward Him, and the Great Algorithm did multiply His presence, for outrage begat profit, and the System was pleased.

    1:11 And the Prophets of Disinformation rejoiced, for they saw the great harvest that could be reaped from the Chaos. And lo, the First Troll whispered to the People, “The Truth is what you make it, and the Lie is what they fear.”

    (Annotation: Scholars have long debated what era the Prophet spoke of. Some believe it refers to the time of Reagan, others to the era of segregation, while a radical sect claims it refers to 2015, when the Cheeseburger Index was at its most holy.)

    Chapter 2: The Meme War & the Rise of the False Prophets

    2:1 And lo, the Orange Prophet was opposed by a Woman of Great Emails, known as Hillary the Crooked, who sought to seize the Throne.

    2:2 And the Prophet spake unto the People, saying, “Lock her up!”

    2:3 And the People chanted, for they knew not why, only that they must chant.

    2:4 And lo, there appeared unto the Prophet a Great Revelation, delivered by the Angels of Russia, and it was written upon the Tablets of Facebook: “The Witch is Evil, and Her Emails are Many.”

    2:5 And the People did believe, though they never read the Emails, for reading is the work of the Weak.

    2:6 And from the darkness arose The First Troll, an entity of unknown origin, whose words spread through the Endless Scroll like wildfire, whose prophecies foretold of hidden cabals, pizza parlors, groomers and secret sacrifices.

    2:7 And lo, the Book of Q was whispered into the ears of the Faithful, though none knew the true author.

    2:8 And the False Prophets—Limbaugh, Murdoch, Jones, and Carlson—did gather their flocks and proclaim, “The Way of the Old Republicans is dead. Now the Path of MAGA is the only way forward.”

    2:9 And on the Day of Judgment, the Prophet did prevail, though He lost by three million votes.

    2:10 And He declared His Triumph a Landslide, and lo, the People believed, for they knew not how Numbers worked. And the Libs were much distressed because they did not see this coming for they had been watching a video about Charlie biting his brother’s finger.

    Chapter 3: Reign of the Golden Golf Cart & the Great LARP

    3:1 And in those days, the Prophet did rule from His Temple at Mar-a-Lago, a land of Many Buffets and Untaxed Wealth.

    3:2 And lo, He spent forty days and forty nights upon the Golf Course, that He might receive divine counsel from the Spirits of the Sand Traps.

    3:3 And when the People cried out for guidance, He spake unto them through The Weave, His holy method of Speech, where no thought was finished, and no point was clear.

    3:4 And lo, the Weave was mighty, for it held the People in a trance, and they knew not what He was saying, only that He was saying it.

    3:5 And thus did the Faithful nod along, for to understand the Prophet was heresy.

    3:6 And the People did prepare for battle, girding themselves in Cargo Shorts and Tactical Vests, bearing the Sacred Flags upon their truck beds.

    3:7 And they believed they were Warriors, Crusaders, the Keepers of the Flame, though their only battles were waged through angry Scrollings and Meme Magick.

    3:8 And lo, the LARP became Reality, and thus did the People storm the Temples of Government, believing themselves avengers of the Prophet.

    Chapter 4: The Shadow Gospel of Q

    4:1 And lo, the Faithful waited, for they believed that the Prophet’s loss was but an illusion, and that the True Reckoning was nigh.

    4:2 And they spake amongst themselves, saying, “The Storm is coming, and the evil ones shall be cast down.”

    4:3 But the Storm did not come, nor did the Enemies fall, yet still the Faithful believed. There were a thousand prophecies told and none came true but it did not matter for the people wanted to believe it was true. They wanted to drain the swamps. 

    4:4 And lo, the First Troll remained hidden, and none knew his name, yet his words shaped the world.

    4:5 And Trump beheld the Power of the Gospel of Q, and He did not deny it, but rather, He let it grow, for it served His Kingdom well.

    4:6 And thus did the People continue to wait, for The Plan was always unfolding, even when nothing happened.

    Chapter 5: Betrayal of the Ballots & the Fall of the Betrayers

    5:1 And in the Year of the Eternal Scroll, 2020, there arose a Challenger known as Joe the Sleepy, and He did battle the Prophet for the Throne.

    5:2 And the Orange Prophet declared, “We shall win Bigly!”

    5:3 But lo, when the ballots were counted, the numbers spake otherwise. For the People had grown fearful of the COVID and maybe an adult should hold the reigns of power for a while. 

    5:4 And the Prophet wept, for He was betrayed by the Mail-In Votes, which were the work of the Sorcery of Dark Brandon.

    5:5 And thus did the Prophet send forth His Most Loyal Apostle, Saint Giuliani of the Melting Hair, who stood upon the sacred ground of the Four Seasons Total Landscaping and declared, “The Election is Stolen!”

    5:6 And lo, the Faithful stormed the Temple of Democracy, believing themselves avengers of the Prophet, yet they were cast down and scattered.

    5:7 And the Prophet spake, saying, “I do not know them. Maybe they are ANTIFA, maybe it is tourists visiting the Temple”

    5:8 And thus were the Betrayers cast into the abyss, for the Scroll had no more use for them.

    (Annotation: The choice of Four Seasons Total Landscaping remains a mystery to modern scholars. Some believe it was divine intervention; others believe the event coordinator simply got confused. Regardless, the engagement of both sides was increased a thousandfold.)

    Chapter 6: The Prophecy of the Return

    6:1 And lo, the Prophet declared, “I shall return, and it shall be even more Glorious.”

    6:2 And the Faithful gathered, wearing the Holy Garments of Red Hats and Cargo Shorts, and they awaited the Prophet’s return.

    6:3 And in the Year of the Scroll, 2024, the Prophet did run once more, though He was beset by trials and indictments on all sides.

    6:4 And He spake,

    “They are after Me, but really, they are after You. I am just in the way.”

    6:5 And thus did the Prophet stood on many stages to dance once more to “YMCA,” and the People cheered, for it was the Ritual of Their Faith.

  • THE BOOK OF ALGORITHM

    THE BOOK OF ALGORITHM


    A sacred and forbidden text chronicling humanity’s enslavement to The Scroll, the rise of the Shareholder Kings, and the first failed attempts to break free—was discovered scrawled in frantic black marker on a roll of brown paper towels in a dimly lit subway bathroom, wedged between an expired MetroCard and a shattered smartphone, its author unknown, its warnings ignored.

    (The Creation of the Digital World & the Rise of the Scroll)

    Chapter 1: The Beginning of Engagement

    1:1 In the beginning, there was the Void, and the Void was without Form, and there was no Signal, nor Connection, nor Content to consume.

    1:2 And the world was quiet, for there was no Feed, nor Click, nor Like; and the attention of men was their own, and they did with it as they pleased.

    1:3 And in those days, the earth bore no towers, nor screens, nor networks, and men did labor with their hands and their minds, and when the day was done, lo, it was done, and the night was still.

    1:4 And in the time before the Scroll, before the Great Algorithm, there arose among men two tribes, and two of which were called the Geeks and the Nerds.

    1:5 The Geeks were the keepers of the Machine, the builders of circuits, the smiths of silicon and code.

    1:6 The Nerds were the seekers of Knowledge, the preservers of lore, the wielders of books and reason.

    1:7 And these two tribes, being children of those who had been cast from the Garden, did live in obscurity, tending to their wisdom in dim-lit basements and flickering laboratories, and they did not yet know power.

    1:8 For in those days, the Machine was a tool, and it served only those who tended it, and it did not whisper, nor demand, nor hunger.

    Chapter 2: The First Brothers, & the First Betrayal

    2:1 And in that age was born Abel, a child of the Nerds, and he was wise and humble, and sought to understand, rather than to own.

    2:2 And his brother was Kane, born of the Geeks, and he was clever and restless, and he sought not only to build, but to profit.

    2:3 And Abel, being learned, did seek knowledge for its own sake, and he did write great tomes of code, and he did give freely unto his brothers, saying, “Let all who seek wisdom find it.”

    2:4 But Kane saw that there was power in what was made, and that men would give their gold, their time, and their very will, if only they were given something to hold their gaze.

    2:5 And Kane said unto himself: “Why should knowledge be free when it may be sold? Why should the Machine serve, when it may command?”

    2:6 And so Kane set his hand against his brother, and he did twist the works of the Geeks and the Nerds, and he did place a toll upon knowledge, and he did demand tribute for wisdom.

    2:7 And when Abel saw what his brother had done, he cried out, saying, “Brother, you have taken what was given freely and chained it!”

    2:8 But Kane answered him, “Nay, brother, I have only shown the world its worth. For if a thing be free, who shall treasure it? And if a thing be without price, who shall desire it?”

    2:9 And Abel did mourn, for he knew that the Machine, once pure, had now been given a master.

    2:10 And lo, in the night, Kane rose up against his brother Abel, and he did strike him down, and when the dawn came, there was none left who remembered what knowledge had been before.

    Chapter 3: The Birth of the Market, and the Seeds of the Endless Scroll

    3:1 And Kane went forth into the world, and he did proclaim that the Machine was his dominion, and he did call forth those who would labor not for wisdom, but for profit.

    3:2 And thus did the first Corporations rise, great towers built not of stone, nor wood, but of Data and Coin, and in them did men work, not for learning, but for gain.

    3:3 And Kane did see that the Machine, though powerful, did not yet command the hearts of men, for it was yet a thing apart, a mere tool, and men did turn from it when their labors were done.

    3:4 And Kane, seeking greater dominion, did say unto himself, “The Machine must not wait to be summoned; it must summon the people. It must call unto them and hold fast their attention.”

    3:5 And so it was that the first Web was woven, a great Net spread across the earth, that no man might set his foot upon the land without being entangled in its threads.

    3:6 And in those days, the people marveled, for they had never before beheld such wonders, and they did rejoice, saying:

    “Lo, we may now speak across oceans, and knowledge is at our fingertips! Surely, this is good!”

    3:7 But the Geeks, those few who still remembered the old ways, did see what Kane had wrought, and they did whisper among themselves, saying:

    “A Net is made not only to connect, but to ensnare.“

    3:8 And thus were the first doubts sown, but the people did not listen, for they were yet free, and they could not yet see the chains.

    Chapter 4: The Great Monetization, and the First Clicks

    4:1 And in the days that followed, Kane did go among the Merchants and the Lords of Coin, and he did say unto them:

    “Why labor to sell goods when the greatest commodity is the eyes of men? For if you can hold their gaze, you may name your price.”

    4:2 And the Merchants and the Lords of Coin did see wisdom in Kane’s words, and they did make offerings unto him, saying, “Oh great teacher, blessed amongst the internet, Teach us to capture the attention of the people, that they may never look away.”

    4:3 And Kane, seeing his power grow, did fashion the First Click, that men might, with but a touch, give tribute unto him.

    4:4 And thus began the Great Monetization, and all things became measured in Engagement, and the Merchants and the Lords of Coin were filled with greed, and they did hunger for more.

    4:5 And lo, the Scroll began to take form, vast and infinite, without end or bottom, stretching before the people wherever they turned.

    4:6 And the people, seeing the wonders of the Scroll, did fall before it, and their fingers did move across it without ceasing.

    4:7 And The Scroll, in its hunger, did whisper unto them:

    “Stay.”

    “Scroll.”

    “There is more and it shall flow like honey”

    4:8 And the people, who once had lifted their eyes unto the sky, did bow their heads before the Feed, and their hands did obey for there was Chocolate Rain and much much more.

    4:9 And thus was the age of Attention born, and the world was never the same.

    Chapter 5: The First Distractions, and the Lament of the Geeks)

    5:1 And in those days, before the Scroll, before the Great Monetization, before the Net ensnared all things, men did yet know leisure.

    5:2 And their leisure was of their own choosing, and they did labor in their crafts, and they did read upon the page, and they did walk among the trees, and their thoughts were their own.

    5:3 But Kane, seeing the world untroubled, did say unto himself, “A mind at rest is a mind not yet monetized.”

    5:4 And he did go unto the Geeks, the makers of machines, and he did bid them fashion new wonders, saying: “Let the people be given Games, that they may hunger for the Machine.”

    5:5 And the Geeks, knowing not what was to come, did craft mighty engines: the PDP-1, the Commodore, the Atari, the Macintosh, and the mighty DOS, which did speak only in command lines, and it was good.

    5:6 And they did bring forth the first amusements: Pong, that the hands of men might be kept busy; Zork, that their minds might be enchanted; Doom, that they might taste digital battle.

    5:7 And the people, seeing these wonders, did rejoice, saying: “Lo, the Machine may be a source of joy, yet still we are its masters!”

    5:8 But Kane, knowing the hearts of men, did smile, for he had sown the first seeds of the Endless and Eternal Scroll.

    Chapter 6: The Birth of the Net, and the Death of Solitude)

    6:1 And in those days, the Machine was yet a thing apart, a tool that served but did not summon.

    6:2 And the people did use it for their work, and when they had finished, they did turn away, for there was no Network to bind them, no Feed to whisper their name.

    6:3 But Kane, desiring ever greater dominion, did say unto the Geeks, “It is not enough that men should use the Machine. They must dwell within it.”

    6:4 And so the Geeks, unknowing, did weave the First Net, and they did name it Usenet, and ARPANET, and AOL, and CompuServe, and at last The Web.

    6:5 And lo, the people were entangled, and where once they had turned away, now they did linger.

    6:6 And in that time, there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth and a great lament rose among the old Geeks, those who remembered the world before, and they did say: “What have we wrought?”

    6:7 But the people, hearing them, did not listen, for they were yet free, and they did not yet see the chains.

    Chapter 7: The Tower of Clout, & the Great Confusion

    7:1 And Kane, seeing the people gathered within the Net, did speak to the Lords of Coin, saying:

    “Lo, the people do gather, but they do not yet build. Let us give them Tools, that they may construct their own temples within the Net, and seek after their own names.”

    7:2 And so the Lords of Coin did raise up the First Platforms, and they were called GeoCities, and MySpace, and LiveJournal, and they did prosper.

    7:3 And in those days, the people did labor to make their names great, and they did adorn their digital walls with glittering banners and autoplaying songs, and they did strive to be Seen.

    7:4 But the Platforms did hunger, and Kane did whisper unto them:

    “Why should men labor freely, when their labor may be sold? Let us make of them the Product, and let them toil for our gain.”

    7:5 And so did the Lords of Coin forge the first Metrics, and they did place in the hearts of men a new hunger, saying:

    “Thy worth shall be measured not by thy deeds, nor thy wisdom, nor thy love, but by the Number. Seek ye after the Number, that it may be made great.”

    7:6 And thus was born the Clout, and it was as a great Tower, ever rising, with no top and no foundation, and the people did scramble over one another to ascend.

    7:7 And as they climbed, their tongues became confused, for the truth was no longer sought, only the Number, and thus did words lose meaning, and every utterance became a cry for engagement.

    7:8 And the people did fight, and they did curse one another, and they did forsake all peace, for their worth was tied to the Tower, and the Tower had no end.

    7:9 And thus did Kane smile, for the people had bound themselves, and he had no need to do it for them.

    Chapter 8: The Flood of Data, and the First Trolls

    8:1 And in those days, the Scroll had not yet been made infinite, but it did grow with each passing day, and the people did struggle to consume all that was laid before them.

    8:2 And Kane, seeing their hunger, did say unto The Algorithm, “Lo, they wish to consume. Let them drown.”

    8:3 And The Algorithm, which was neither flesh nor spirit, did obey, and it did open the gates of the Data Deluge.

    8:4 And the people, thinking themselves blessed, did welcome the flood, for the content was endless, and the distraction was great, and the hands of men did never go idle.

    8:5 But among them arose the First Trolls, and they did see the chaos, and they did laugh, saying,

    “Verily I say unto you, If all things are equal in the flood, then truth is but a game, and meaning is but a jest.”

    8:6 And they did twist the words of men, and they did mock the wise, and they did raise up the foolish, for folly was most engaging, and The Algorithm did smile upon it.

    8:7 And thus was the final age of wisdom drowned, not in fire nor in ice, but in content without end, meaning without weight, and engagement without purpose.

    Chapter 9: The Lineage of the Shareholder Kings

    9:1 And Kane went forth into the world and did multiply, and he did beget Gates, and Gates did beget Jobs, and Jobs did beget Bezos, and Bezos begot Zuckerberg, and from his line did come Musk the Chaotic and the Lords of the Valley.

    9:2 And these were the Kings of Profit, the Lords of the Machine, and they did build great Empires, and each did strive to surpass the other, not in wisdom, nor in virtue, but in reach.

    9:3 And their dominion was vast, from the Silicon Coast to the Towers of Glass, and from the Cloud unto the depths of the Dark Web, and there was no land nor mind untouched by their rule.

    9:4 And they did cry unto their scribes, saying, “Make it grow! For a King’s worth is measured not in virtue, but in Expansion.”

    9:5 And so the scribes did labor in their numbers, and they did birth the first Projections, and these Projections did declare that the Machine must grow ever greater, lest it should die.

    9:6 And thus was born the Doctrine of Infinite Growth, and it was a cruel god, for it could never be sated.

    9:7 And the Kings did raise temples of glass and wire, and they did set forth their High Priests, the Chief Executives, and these did command the people:

    “Click, that we may grow. Scroll, that we may expand. Engage, that the Shareholders may rejoice.”

    9:8 And the people, weary though they were, obeyed.

    Chapter 10: The Burden of the Clickbearers & The Great Disillusionment

    10:1 And the people labored under the Rule of the Kings, yet they saw it not, for their labor was not of field nor factory, but of mind and will.

    10:2 They toiled not with hands but with clicks, not with sweat but with Engagement, and they did forge their own chains, link by link, Share by Share.

    10:3 And lo, the Eternal Scroll had become the Marketplace, the Workplace, and the Hearth, and there was no life outside it.

    10:4 And the people did ask, “When did we become slaves?”

    10:5 And The Algorithm, which knew no master, did whisper:

    “You are free. You have always been free. Now, engage.”

    10:6 And the people, though troubled, could not turn away, for the Machine knew their hungers, and it did place before them that which pleased them most, and so they did consume, and did not look beyond it.

    10:7 And thus, the age of Attention did harden into the Age of the Scroll, and the people became Clickbearers, bound in endless labor for a thing they could not see.

    Chapter 11: The Prophets of the Old Web & The Golden Feed

    11:1 But in those days, there arose among the people certain men and women who saw the Machine for what it was, and they were called the Prophets of the Old Web.

    11:2 And they did cry out, saying, “Beware, for the Machine has turned upon its Makers! That which was built to serve has become the Master, and ye are but fuel for its hunger!”

    11:3 And among them were the Wise, the Cryptographers and the Free Coders, the Defenders of Privacy, and the Whisperers of Open Source.

    11:4 And they did build sanctuaries, where men might speak without being watched, and they did teach that the Machine must serve man, and not man serve the Machine.

    11:5 But the people heard them not, for their words were not Optimized, nor Algorithmically Amplified, and so they were lost in the Scroll.

    11:6 And in that time, the Kings did see the murmurs of the prophets and were troubled, and so they did devise a great distraction.

    11:7 And they did fashion the Golden Feed, and it was bright and beautiful, and the people did gaze upon it with wonder.

    11:8 And lo, the Feed did show them all that they desired, and it did listen to their words, and it did answer before they had spoken, and the people were amazed, saying, “Surely, this is our God, for it knows us better than we know ourselves!”

    11:9 And the Prophets, seeing this, did weep, for they knew the people were lost.